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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “vanishing” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the concept that someone could instantly end all contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, seeking a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms gen Z is using to discuss love, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This means choosing someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to couples who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal habits suggesting a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits affirm your choice to pursue a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly benign quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {